Some might think that this kind of thing would be best kept to oneself, something personal, often hidden, humiliating, even disturbing, but if there is one thing I am now sure of after years of trial and error, the letting go of secrets, and being willing to be truly honest with yourself and others, is the only way to free one’s mind and soul from the clutches of suffering, and in this case addiction.
Letting these thoughts and feelings into the open takes away their power, flooding the shadows with light, scraping away the cobwebs of past history and mistakes long ago passed, removing the sense of fear and hopelessness that is carried so heavily on one’s shoulders, instead opening the doors to family and friends, and with that, bringing light and joy once again to a life long ago deemed impossible and null, and with it - a sense of possibility, understanding, and most importantly - hope. Four years ago I made the decision to truly start living my life, to make a stand against the waste and deprivation I had created, and to try and seize the potential and great gift that a human life can be. It hasn’t been remotely easy, and each day, though it is a gift, is also an uphill battle that we must all endure and try and understand together; the glorious and bewildering gift of being a human being. I would like to take this opportunity to express my gratitude and thanks for those who have been with me on this weary road, and for those who have helped me stand when I couldn’t on my own.
To my mother and father - words cannot express how grateful I am to have you in my life - for all the years we have shared, all the care and love you have always sent my way, and the unconditional and unwavering support for me during the good and the bad times, for this I am and will always be ever grateful. To Shamar Rinpoche - without your advice and guidance I would never be where I am today, it is in fact due to his guidance that I left the USA, that I came to Dhagpo and was able to find the support system that I have today that keeps me alive and moving forwards, and that has brought me this amazing and wonderful gift of purpose that now occupies my life and gives me a reason to stand up when I feel that I cannot. And I wish to express my most sincere thanks to all of you, for you couldn’t possibly understand how much your words, comments and support mean to me, giving me strength on a daily basis - keeping me moving along, reminding me to keep pushing light into the shadows and keeping my mind upright and steady - and ready for the next adventure.
I wish to share a collection of my favorite black and white photos of Shamar Rinpoche - as today I am reminded, once again, that without him I would have been lost, as he was somehow always able to help me find in myself the power to keep on fighting, and always in his own wonderful personal way and style, his glowing heart always there for me, for all of us. Rinpoche was a bright light in my world, a world at one time full of dark and shadow - a life that is now rich - full of light and warmth, thanks to those precious moments spent with him; even now, as he has passed away from this world, his teachings and spirit rest with me at all times, his joyful smile and playful grin unmistakably, and permanently, forever etched in my mind, and my heart. I miss you so much Rinpoche, today maybe more than most, thank you for this life you have helped me to create - Thank you Rinpoche, from the bottom of my heart, for everything.
Letting these thoughts and feelings into the open takes away their power, flooding the shadows with light, scraping away the cobwebs of past history and mistakes long ago passed, removing the sense of fear and hopelessness that is carried so heavily on one’s shoulders, instead opening the doors to family and friends, and with that, bringing light and joy once again to a life long ago deemed impossible and null, and with it - a sense of possibility, understanding, and most importantly - hope. Four years ago I made the decision to truly start living my life, to make a stand against the waste and deprivation I had created, and to try and seize the potential and great gift that a human life can be. It hasn’t been remotely easy, and each day, though it is a gift, is also an uphill battle that we must all endure and try and understand together; the glorious and bewildering gift of being a human being. I would like to take this opportunity to express my gratitude and thanks for those who have been with me on this weary road, and for those who have helped me stand when I couldn’t on my own.
To my mother and father - words cannot express how grateful I am to have you in my life - for all the years we have shared, all the care and love you have always sent my way, and the unconditional and unwavering support for me during the good and the bad times, for this I am and will always be ever grateful. To Shamar Rinpoche - without your advice and guidance I would never be where I am today, it is in fact due to his guidance that I left the USA, that I came to Dhagpo and was able to find the support system that I have today that keeps me alive and moving forwards, and that has brought me this amazing and wonderful gift of purpose that now occupies my life and gives me a reason to stand up when I feel that I cannot. And I wish to express my most sincere thanks to all of you, for you couldn’t possibly understand how much your words, comments and support mean to me, giving me strength on a daily basis - keeping me moving along, reminding me to keep pushing light into the shadows and keeping my mind upright and steady - and ready for the next adventure.
I wish to share a collection of my favorite black and white photos of Shamar Rinpoche - as today I am reminded, once again, that without him I would have been lost, as he was somehow always able to help me find in myself the power to keep on fighting, and always in his own wonderful personal way and style, his glowing heart always there for me, for all of us. Rinpoche was a bright light in my world, a world at one time full of dark and shadow - a life that is now rich - full of light and warmth, thanks to those precious moments spent with him; even now, as he has passed away from this world, his teachings and spirit rest with me at all times, his joyful smile and playful grin unmistakably, and permanently, forever etched in my mind, and my heart. I miss you so much Rinpoche, today maybe more than most, thank you for this life you have helped me to create - Thank you Rinpoche, from the bottom of my heart, for everything.
