I am reminded my Dharma life truly started here in Dhagpo, led by Rinpoche himself, where my fractured soul began to heal, and I saw a part of myself I never knew existed.
When I place my head of the cool stone I feel an instant shock of Rinpoche’s presence. He has yet to vanish from my mind for a single moment, and yet, here he is, so fierce and fiery as ever. What a man he was, a teacher, a lineage holder, a great master, a simple and gentle soul. He would arrive from thin air, with that sweet smile that melted your core. While he was always extremely tough, even especially rough with me, he would always give me that smile when he first saw me. Most of you know the story from here. Rinpoche saved my life.
Clear and simple, without him there is no me, at least in the form that I see in the mirror, and through the eyes of those that know me now. As a caring person, a husband and father, a friend, someone who finally sees the world as outside of himself, his selfish needs, his addictive wants and needs. Thank you Rinpoche for that. Thank you for giving me this life. As I stand here, staring up to the golden glow that illuminates your essence in statue form, I see you looking out over all of us. I am reminded how countless others have been saved by you as well, perhaps not coming from such a harmful background as I, or perhaps so. One never knows what someone is going through, the pains they carry, the loads that burden them. A tear is a tear, hurt is hurt. Rinpoche, you remind me how I must stand tall, how I must rejoice in the Dharma, in the precious human life that I once regarded so frivolously. You saved me from myself. I can never truly repay a gift like that. I will try.
And here I am, with Jamgon Kongtrul Rinpoche, a majestic and powerful teacher like you. His presence also pushes me towards my better self, his gaze cuts through me like a knife through butter. While there will never be another Shamarpa like you, I cherish the incredible gifts we have as Dharma practitioners, the precious teachers that continue to guide us. To nurture us, to kick us into gear, forcing abandonment of our selfish ways. Kongtrul Rinpoche is such a being. So is Jigme Rinpoche. Karmapa too, even more so. I remember what he said right after your passing, something that has stuck with me ever since:
“It is natural and understandable that everyone is deeply affected by the passing of Shamar Rinpoche. Many will be asking what now, what next? There is no need to fear for the future.”
Treasures like Jamgon Kongtrul Rinpoche, they will lead us to the future. With him I am not afraid, not alone. None of us are. I thank you my teacher, my friend, my guide. Shamarpa you saved my life. But your greatest gift to all was the continuation of the lineage, and leaving us in such capable hands. There is no need to fear for the future. I am not afraid.
Jamgon Kongtrul Rinpoche Dhagpo Kagyu Ling
