Cascading memories, slow faltered breathing, deep gratitude fill me to the brim.
I met Rinpoche only a few times, but even a moment in the same room as he was something to treasure for a lifetime. The last time I saw him was a year ago, bedridden and unable to move more than his hands, his eyes pierced me like a lighting bolt through the heart. He saw through me. He saw everything I was, and wasn’t, and in that moment the world stopped. While his physical form may have been limited, his mind and presence were tack sharp, excruciatingly so. All my veils and concerns, concepts and ideas were smashed to mere powder on the floor, only being held in his presence remained. It was unbelievable, unlike anything else I have experienced.
I consider myself very lucky to have shared the room with many great masters, but Mipham Rinpoche was different. Cascading heart and stillness, complete and total ease. I was allowed to come closer, his hand put on my head, and for a few brief moments I stood there taking his blessing. It felt like hours. I was so touched it still sends shivers down my spine. It was sublime, shatteringly intense, and everything in between. I certainly didn’t connect with his mind, I’m a lowly peasant in these Dharmic waters, but he surely altered my body’s composition, reorganized my molecules, bent me into a knot and released into a pile on the floor. Like being smacked upside the head with The Frying Pan of Awareness, his compassion and heart were beyond. Beyond anything. Beyond everything.
The time before that was twelve years ago, he came to see the Kudung of Shamar Rinpoche, which stood in precisely the same spot he now rests. I’ll never forget his wailing cries, the room so still, we all just watched as this incredible Lama, Jetsun Mipham, one of the most powerful of all, wheeled around slowly, sobbing. It feels like the world is falling to pieces, they’re all leaving us. This whole thing is beyond me, what can one possible do, or think in times like this? And yet here we are. Here I am. It’s magnificent and tortuous. I spend all day next to his Kudung, as I did with Shamarpa. Great Masters of the Land Of Beyond.
