The KIBI winter course has come to a close, and with that the end of this tour and my journey back to Europe.
Some well needed rest and a lot of priority changes are on the agenda for me. I always feel this way after tour: exhausted, but still riding that manic energy wave, wildness filling my mind as I try to come back to earth. I’m also in dire need of some life restructuring, as I come from (more than) full time photographer back to being *just* a husband and father. Days less full of madness and chaos, instead family time and trying to keep up with all the changes my son went through since I was gone. They grow so fast, after just a few weeks he’s like a different person. (What a kid, he’s incredible.) In the coming days things will settle, and I will begin to miss intensely the wildness that is my other life. But what I have come to understand is, the contrast between Dharma work, at the epicenter of activity, to the serenity of home life, is in fact the teaching. For one who prefers the fire of intensity and closeness, to the stark cold of distance and melancholy, this is a very important truth for me. I am both of these things, they are both me. They are both helpful, both necessary. I feel my usual crash coming home has been far more profound and helpful to me this time around, so I can cherish were I was, but even more importantly, I can be present in this moment now. As is true in my work, in life I must embrace the shadow as well as the light, for they are nothing without each other.
The following collection is from the Public Meditation Course in KIBI, occurring directly after Monlam. As a stark contrast to Gaya, KIBI is dark and cold most of the time. It’s more about a retreat, closed in and intimate. Everyone is in sweat pants and wool hats, huddling together for warmth as they sprawl out on the icy cold marble floor. Karmapa only came in the evening, late as always, so we didn’t see him until after nightfall. As a photographer one couldn’t imagine worse conditions; it was pitch black outside, and only a shade brighter in the Gompa. After a day or two of trial and error I simply let go of any expectations, and instead just went with it. The gloom and shadow. The grit and noise. It was unavoidable, so what to do. What you see below is a unique collection for me, far more flash and grain. Less color and more darkness. But I like it, it’s honest and truthful. And somehow a fitting collection to end the tour with. I hope that it translates for you all as well, a fitting farewell.
And so that’s it for now. I wish you all a wonderful new year, full of prosperity, love, joy and happiness. I wish that your practice is without obstacles, your samsara is never too hidden, and your loved ones are close. I am looking forward greatly to the next time we see each other - until then, be well my dear Dharma Family. Embrace the shadow!
