To say that I am thankful for all that I have would be the understatement of the century, the life I see through my eyes today is vastly, and incomparably bigger, and more luminous than ever before.
The difficulties I have faced, the seemingly unsurmountable walls of self that were so apparent and overpowering before, though still present, seem to have taken a side step and a special space has arisen in which I now feel that so much more is possible.
4 years ago I was a helpless, self destructive alcoholic and drug addict - it’s true. My life was completely organized around self preservation, and my view of the world was uncompromisingly one sided and bleak. Through the support of my family, community and friends I can honestly say that while I still struggle on a daily basis as we all do, life has become something else entirely. Today I am thankful for my family, because without them I would be lost. I am thankful for my community - for without them I could not share, learn and grow, and to grow means to see and appreciate all that happens around you, we are all going through life as best we can -each of us with our own burdens to carry. I am thankful for almost four years of sobriety, the choice that has given me more than I could possibly describe in words. I am thankful for the opportunity and possibility to do the work that now happily occupies my every waking moment, something I could never have even dreamed for myself a year ago.Looking inward - a scary, exciting and adventurous idea, to truly be willing to see what is inside without labels and without guilt or fault, I will aspire to do my best with this. For what I thought my life would bring is entirely different than what I see before me today, and was brought on the moment I stopped trying to control my life and simply let it pass naturally, as it is for all of us.Moving forward - a scary, exciting and adventurous idea as well, when we leave behind the shackles of the past, yet never letting our previous actions be forgotten, yet not weighing ourselves down to hinder the possibilities the future may bring. We must be gentle with ourselves, I must be gentle with others, I must be gentle with myself.
The ocean of samsara is all around us all, and yet when we can accept it as it is, it is no longer a hindrance or negative thought, it is a gift. The simple idea that I couldn't be anywhere else than where I am right now, in this moment, is a gift. To be living this life, full of ups and downs, light and shadow, suffering and joy, is a gift.
Looking Inward, moving forward - for today I am 31 years old and my life is just beginning. From the bottom of my heart, thank you all for sharing this amazing gift with me.
-Tokpa
The difficulties I have faced, the seemingly unsurmountable walls of self that were so apparent and overpowering before, though still present, seem to have taken a side step and a special space has arisen in which I now feel that so much more is possible.
4 years ago I was a helpless, self destructive alcoholic and drug addict - it’s true. My life was completely organized around self preservation, and my view of the world was uncompromisingly one sided and bleak. Through the support of my family, community and friends I can honestly say that while I still struggle on a daily basis as we all do, life has become something else entirely. Today I am thankful for my family, because without them I would be lost. I am thankful for my community - for without them I could not share, learn and grow, and to grow means to see and appreciate all that happens around you, we are all going through life as best we can -each of us with our own burdens to carry. I am thankful for almost four years of sobriety, the choice that has given me more than I could possibly describe in words. I am thankful for the opportunity and possibility to do the work that now happily occupies my every waking moment, something I could never have even dreamed for myself a year ago.Looking inward - a scary, exciting and adventurous idea, to truly be willing to see what is inside without labels and without guilt or fault, I will aspire to do my best with this. For what I thought my life would bring is entirely different than what I see before me today, and was brought on the moment I stopped trying to control my life and simply let it pass naturally, as it is for all of us.Moving forward - a scary, exciting and adventurous idea as well, when we leave behind the shackles of the past, yet never letting our previous actions be forgotten, yet not weighing ourselves down to hinder the possibilities the future may bring. We must be gentle with ourselves, I must be gentle with others, I must be gentle with myself.
The ocean of samsara is all around us all, and yet when we can accept it as it is, it is no longer a hindrance or negative thought, it is a gift. The simple idea that I couldn't be anywhere else than where I am right now, in this moment, is a gift. To be living this life, full of ups and downs, light and shadow, suffering and joy, is a gift.
Looking Inward, moving forward - for today I am 31 years old and my life is just beginning. From the bottom of my heart, thank you all for sharing this amazing gift with me.
-Tokpa