I am surrounded by the most incredible people in the world, celebrating Monlam with Karmapa in a beautiful light filled hall with the entire Kagyu family by my side. It should be perfect. But perhaps that’s it; the expectations of myself have surpassed the unattainable and sometimes I simply have off days, and no matter how joyous the surroundings my reservoir is empty. I push myself to limits that are completely ridiculous, times when I can barely stand from pure exhaustion and reeking with emotion, but the show must go on. I must go on. So - I will use the words of Karmapa that I have heard so often these past weeks: “Just relax”. Just be in the dredge and discomfort of it all. Just be who I am now. And right now I am an exhausted Dharma photographer who knows in his heart that some days he simply has more hills to climb than others. At the end of the day life is still so raw and beautiful. These harder moments give pause to the grandeur of life’s distractions. So I will rest in the torrid beauty of this fleeting sorrow, for it is short lived, impermanent and just a figment of my wonderfully imaginative mind. I will make wishes for others. I will remember the real pains of this world and regain my composure. I will listen to my teacher’s wise words. I will relax and stop taking myself so seriously. And again the joy comes, as it always does, the light that follows the dark is always the most beautiful.
Karma Kagyud Singapore Karma Kagyud Buddhist Centre Singapore Karmapa Visits Singapore Shangpa Rinpoche
