Here we are, the final stop on this incredible tour that rocked my world, creating myriad incredible memories and experiences to the point that I cannot even begin to count them.
My heart is full, my body wrecked, my cameras filthy. My soul flying from all the amazing friends I have met along the way, all the empowerments, teachings, surprise trips and midnight meetings. By sun drenched skies and rain soaked tents we went, crafting a journey beyond all words that has literally carried me along for the ride. While I am now home, I somehow can’t believe it actually happened, back to my “so-called” real life. Karmapa used this term over and over tour; the “so-called” death, “so-called” enlightenment, “so-called” blessing. Effectively letting us all down softly, but making clear that somehow all the we hold onto for dear life is but an illusion. He also said much of what we do is just for aesthetics; all the pomp and ceremony, the colors and sounds, exotic forms and shapes, it’s all for show. It’s for us, to help us connect, to have some kind of inspiration, that is all. Letting go is all we have, expectations are just an illusion too. Oof. He tore down concept after concept, day after day, week after week, peeling away at my onion like facade of belief. After the shock wore off, it got me thinking. What is my “so-called” real life? I used to say I went on tour and then came back to reality, but now it feels the opposite is true - on tour doing my work is where things make the most sense. That’s not to say I don’t like being home, quite the opposite, but it’s an interesting change in my “so-called” mind that bears recognition. Both can be home, both real, and that’s quite fine by me. And what about the aesthetics part? I found the simplicity of Karmapa’s teachings a triumphant theme during these months, where everything in me feels cleaned out, simplified, smashed down to its most basic and “pure”. I see that I do so much for show, to make me comfortable, for it all to make sense. Someone asked me the other day what a buddhist really is, and my answer was rather striking to hear as it tumbled out my mouth. I think I’ve become a bit of a positive nihilist here, nothing really matters, you can’t control anything, but its all ok, everything is good and you relax into it. And expectations you ask? Not depending on a result, but dropping the ceremony and really peering inside. For a proudly artistic guy drowning in OCD and strong expectations this is quite a paradigm shift. I honestly feel like a different person, at least at this moment. I credit being so near Karmapa’s example all this time, hearing the same kind of ideas hammered into my “so-called” mind over and over again, in slightly different variations depending on where we were. My “so-called” soul feels reborn.
If one could use a single word to describe the course here in the scorching heat of Andalusia Spain, it would be “crowds”. Never before have I been so overwhelmed, excited and almost trampled or squooshed than I have been here. It was a blast actually, but keeping up and trying to shoot was a challenge for sure. Everywhere was crowded. The Gompa in KG was literally bursting with what I was told was the biggest attendance they’re ever had. Hot and stuffed, crammed in like sardines, it took me quite some time to get to the back as all corridors and paths had melted into bodies, feet and blankets. At the Benalmadena Stupa people were everywhere, covering all accessible parts of the stupa like a living ocean of beings. During the blessing cues it was absolute chaos and mayhem, at least at the start, by the end they seemed to have figure it out, but it was wild for sure. Every way I turned there was dazzling crowds of happy faces, lines around the block, swarms in every direction. Being at the center of all this, and then scrambling to follow Karmapa to another location quickly, only to find myself in the throng once more, this is what Karma Guen is all about! Happy squashed me, happy life in the middle of a friends sandwich. At Benalmadena they almost cancelled the event due to expected dangerous rain storms, but in the end it was gorgeous, and we even had golden hour behind Karmapa’s throne and sunset blessing pictures to match. I will never forget the little things, like Karmapa and Lama Ole’s private visits, a day trip to the Granada center gazing out at the city below during sunset, a hike up to the stupa with hundreds of people, or sitting around for hours and hours waiting as our “so-called” schedule was torn to pieces and every moment was a complete surprise. What a time! Each stop on the tour felt like a year, and now that I am home it does indeed feel like I left a lifetime ago. Forever changed, forever grateful for this experience, and forever honored to share it all with you.
I thank you all deeply for following along on this adventure with me, it means the world that we can all share in this together. I know many couldn’t make it, some for only a stop or two, I hope that through these photos it might have brought you a bit closer. I appreciate it greatly to share my intimate and private thoughts so openly, and your comments are of great inspiration to me. Thank you for that, thank you all for being who you are, and for being a part of my world.
See you all soon!
